he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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