Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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