does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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