Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize