Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
