And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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