yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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