Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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