I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize