speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
