i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
