Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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