ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
