After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We have started to decorate penises.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
