I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
