i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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