We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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