I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
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There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
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have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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