He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
