He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
