why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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