I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
