Can i not drive my cunt home
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
