Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
