you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
