i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
