I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
