Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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