True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize