Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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