For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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