i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
