Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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