oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
