we're chasing vodka with high fives
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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