I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize