i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You're earring is so big in my mouth
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
