this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
