I'm going to jail i love you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i came on her dog
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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