When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
