dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
