My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
