it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
