Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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