You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize