I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
