we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
