bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
