This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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