how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
