i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
