you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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