Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
