i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
