so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
