I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
My liver just had a heart attack.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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