Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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